With the growing debate about an independent Scotland, I am starting to feel seriously left out. It seems you can only take part in this discussion if you live North of the Border or are a genuine Scot. My mother was one quarter Scots (which I suppose makes me 1\/8th) but that is not really enough to qualify me as a genuine Scottish person. I also had a Welsh Godmother (now alas departed) and she lived in Edinburgh for a couple of years, but I don\u2019t think this will help me either. Anyway, I digress\u2026
\nThis morning on the radio I briefly listened to Arlene from Arbroath who was in favour of devolution. So apparently was Penny from Perth. Then someone or other who had a very strong Scots accent rattled on and on but as I couldn\u2019t understand a word he was saying, I have no idea where he lived and if he was for or against it.
\nBut what about the rest of us? Don\u2019t the good residents of England and the Marshwood Vale in particular have valid opinions too? Devolution is a two way street you know. It\u2019s a split between two partners after 300 years of marriage and both parties need be consulted. Personally, if anyone was to bother to ask me, I would welcome Scottish devolution just as long as they pay for their share of their independent means (i.e. defence, their share of our collective national debt plus an export tax on haggis.)
\nIt\u2019s the current fashion for many Europeans to want to form a new country and forge a new national identity. It gives them a new start in life and makes them feel better about themselves. Did you realise that since 1990, there have been a total of 34 new countries in the world? Names such as Moldova, Georgia, Serbia and Ukraine now grace the Eurovision song contest\u2014another newbie, Azerbaijan even won it last year. European sporting competitions have become more and more complicated with so many new countries taking part. It\u2019s rumoured that football\u2019s Euro 2016 might last all summer. Perish the thought\u2026
\nThis spirit of independence has all happened because their inhabitants wanted it to happen and they voted to make it so. Why don\u2019t we do the same for the South West? I\u2019m sure the rest of England wouldn\u2019t be that bothered. They might even welcome it since they could then go abroad for their summer holidays while staying in the UK (if you see what I mean). Cornwall is nearly independent anyway and has its own Cornish road signs, language and pasties. The whole of Wessex or even just the Marshwood Vale could go the same way.
\nWe would all have lots of fun designing the new Marshwoodian flag and composing our new national anthem. In keeping with our reputation as the food centre of the UK, our flag might feature crossed prawns on a bed of edible nettles or perhaps a West Bay crab with rampant claws. Our anthem would have to be composed by a good local band (hundreds to choose from) and written in praise of the noble Scallop. It would be sung at morning assembly in every Marshwoodian school. Economically we\u2019d be fine as we would join the EEC as a separate nation and receive copious European grants. Just like the rest of England, we wouldn\u2019t join the Euro but we would peg the English Pound to our new currency\u2014the Golden Cap. \u2018Want to stay with our Monarchy? No problem, we can join the Commonwealth as an independent country and keep Her Majesty as our Head of State just like Scotland is proposing to do.
\nThink of the advantages: we would be able to halve VAT to 10% and add our own tax\u2014SWAT (South West Access Tax) to all foreign paying tourists from the rest of Britain who drive along the A35 and the A303 on their way to Devon and Cornwall. And we could have our own postage stamps (with nice little pictures of ammonites or Ottery St Mary) and our own language (every letter \u2018s\u2019 becomes a \u2018z\u2019). Schools could have their own Vale exam papers, Marshwoodian police cars be painted in forest green for better camouflage and we would all listen to MBC (Marshwood Broadcasting Corp) as well as Wessex FM. We could even enter ourselves for the Eurovision song contest and Euro 2016 if we had a whole summer available and if we deemed such events worthy of our many collective talents. Most important of all, if we organised the whole thing really quickly, we might be able to still send a team to the 2012 London Olympics. OK, maybe not representing every category, but certainly we could make a contribution to gig rowing and swimming. I reckon we could also put a great Olympic Skittle team together. Our gold medal winning team (from our local pub of course) would be paraded through Seaton, Crewkerne and Dorchester on an open-topped bus and the Mayors of Bridport and Lyme Regis would declare a public holiday. Well, it doesn\u2019t do any harm to be an independent dreamer, does it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
With the growing debate about an independent Scotland, I am starting to feel seriously left out. It seems you can only take part in this discussion if you live North of the Border or are a genuine Scot. My mother was one quarter Scots (which I suppose makes me 1\/8th) but that is not really […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":531,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[32],"class_list":["post-94","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-laterally-speaking","tag-humphrey-walwyn"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}