When I was eight, my favourite item of clothing was my \u2018Zorro\u2019 mask. Simple, black and elegant, I wouldn\u2019t go anywhere without it. Kids\u2019 parties, walking the dog, playing in the garden or even going to bed\u2014on went my mask and, in a flash, I was the bravest and finest swordsman on the planet and invisible to all the baddies! We\u2019ve got masked heroes like Batman, Spiderman and the Lone Ranger and tortured masked villains like the Joker, Darth Vader, Phantom of the Opera and Hannibal Lecter, although the latter\u2019s mask was to stop him from eating other people rather than conceal his identity!
\nMasks can hide you or protect you from other people, or they can protect others from you and any germs you might be harbouring. In just a few months, we have now got so used to masks that it\u2019s become completely normal to carry them wherever you go. I pop them on and off in shops or public places without a second thought. Yes, they\u2019re a bit of a bore and an inconvenience, but they are now a part of day-to-day life and likely to be with us for many years to come\u2014if not in perpetuity.
\nSo, rather than grudgingly put up with them, I feel we should embrace them joyfully and use them to our advantage. For a start, face masks are a major new item of fashion and the biggest impact to boring old clothes for decades. I\u2019ve seen skeleton masks, smiley face, floral, cat and wild animal masks. And they don\u2019t have to be boring old light blue. Be inventive and go for colourful art or a meaningful message which has much more impact than lacklustre phrases on a T-shirt. Text on a mask is literally \u201cin your face\u201d, or more correctly perhaps \u201con your face\u201d. My current favourites are \u201cIf you can read this, you\u2019re too close to me\u201d, \u201cQuarantine Queen\u201d and a plain black one with \u201cThis is my happy face mask\u201d.
\nOne potential problem is how wearing a mask makes us all more remote from each other as human beings. It\u2019s impossible to be 100% sure of anyone\u2019s facial expression. Is he smiling or is it a frown? Is she being friendly or disgusted? I know that the eyes are supposed to tell us most things about a person, but it doesn\u2019t work in practice. Seeing your eyes but not your nose or mouth conveys only part of the message where a pout can easily become half a grin. Perhaps we need hand signals as extra clues? Four fingers held up together means \u2018I really am smiling, please smile back\u2019. A clenched fist might mean \u2018please go away\u2019\u2014a bit like pictorial emojis added to a mobile text message.
\nAnother problem is the failure to recognise people. You\u2019re in the supermarket and everyone\u2019s got a mask on. A couple bump into you near the frozen fish section and they both turn their faces to you and say \u2018Hello!\u2019. Who on earth are these people? They obviously know me but they might be that nice couple from number 27 or the new Honiton bank manager and her husband. I have no idea\u2026 and because I don\u2019t immediately respond, they walk on and will forever think I\u2019m the rudest person in Devon.
\nThis problem can be used to your advantage in reverse. You know how putting on a mask makes you strangely invisible to others, just like me putting on my Zorro mask? Well, for the first time in your life you can be extremely rude to people you don\u2019t like when you\u2019re wearing a mask. You can silently mouth all kinds of obscenities at them and pull rude faces but they will not know. They will probably think you\u2019re smiling at them and say \u2018Good Morning\u2019 to you. This is strangely satisfying and exciting! Just make absolutely sure your mask fully covers your mouth!
\nYou could even go one stage further if you are brave enough. Try walking into a shop with absolutely no clothes on except for your mask. Apart from causing considerable offence and an affront to public decency (and possibly getting arrested), you\u2019ll be OK because nobody will know who you are. I\u2019m not really promoting this idea as it is fraught with danger. And please wear a boringly common light blue mask as somebody might recognise you if you wear your individual pirate disguise or President Trump mask. You could also anonymously rob a bank I suppose, but I am not encouraging this either!
\nThere are plenty of advantages to wearing a mask. Women never need to put on lipstick. Men can hide their embarrassing designer stubble. Acne, spots and zits are never visible. The material will also partially disguise morning \u2018bad beer breath\u2019 and nobody will ever annoy you again by saying \u2018why aren\u2019t you smiling?\u2019 as they\u2019ll have no idea if you are or you aren\u2019t. The only other downside is that talking through material smothers your speech like cotton wool, but then since I am increasingly deaf, I\u2019m already asking everyone to repeat what they just said.
\nBut perhaps the best thing about wearing a mask is the wonderful new sensation of liberation. You know\u2026 you\u2019ve been out shopping with your mask and finally get back half-suffocated to your car. You close the door and remove your mask. The feeling of utter relief at being able to breathe again is fantastic!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When I was eight, my favourite item of clothing was my \u2018Zorro\u2019 mask. Simple, black and elegant, I wouldn\u2019t go anywhere without it. Kids\u2019 parties, walking the dog, playing in the garden or even going to bed\u2014on went my mask and, in a flash, I was the bravest and finest swordsman on the planet and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5362,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[32],"class_list":["post-5361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-laterally-speaking","tag-humphrey-walwyn"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5361"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5361\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5362"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.marshwoodlife.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}