![\"hercules](\"http:\/\/www.marshwoodvale.com\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/hercules-for-web.jpg\")
At school I often used to run out of my pocket money by the end of the week. The temptations of the school tuck shop and fizzy cherryade were strong and I operated a spend, spend, spend economy. Luckily it was no big deal as I just called my nice granny in Dorchester and she\u2019d hopefully be good for another ten bob. By a mixture of bribery, sucking up and writing smarmy letters to friendly aunts, I managed to maintain a cash flow higher than my official income for several years. Exactly like Greece, really. Except that they\u2019ve run up rather more debts than a few Mars bars, and they\u2019ve also probably run out of generous grandmothers.\nSome of us may be a bit fed up with it all. Throughout June and July, Greece was virtually our only headline news. \u2018Will they leave the Euro?\u2019, \u2018Will the banks be open on Monday?\u2019, \u2018Would anyone care to donate a few billion euros?\u2019. I don\u2019t know\u2026 but somebody\u2019s gonna have to. Maybe the IMF or the World Bank or that nice Mrs Merkel and the kindly Germans? I don\u2019t think so. Perhaps the Man in the Moon or even the Lone Ranger will come riding in with saddlebags full of dosh to rescue them: \u2018Hi-ho Silver!\u2019 If only\u2026
\nOK, so now there\u2019s another temporary bail-out\u2014another stay of execution for a month or so\u2014but I\u2019m afraid the problem won\u2019t go away. However, it\u2019s hardly the fault of today\u2019s Greeks, especially the younger ones. It was their parents\u2019 generation who spent it all leaving this generation to pick up the broken plates from the floor. But eventually someone will have to pay and it\u2019ll probably be all the world\u2019s banks at some stage (which of course ultimately means you and me and everyone else). I\u2019ve certainly had enough of all this talk of \u2018Standing on a Knife Edge\u2019. It\u2019s too painful. I feel like I\u2019ve been standing on the edge of the knife for so long that my own feet are cut to ribbons and I\u2019m sliced completely into two different bits. There\u2019s the friendly bit and the angry bit.
\nLets get rid of the jokey angry bit first: \u201cWretched Greeks\u2026 why I should pay for them? Why don\u2019t some of the more well off ones\u2014like journalist Arianna Huffington, tennis star Pete Sampras and the entire Onassis dynasty and their many yachts – all club together and pay it off! Too many sickly baklavas, dodgy moussakas and neon-pink taramasalatas if you ask me! Retsina? Yuk. And if I have to hear Zorba the Greek one more time, I\u2019ll burn my entire Demis Roussos collection\u201d\u2026 etcetera, etcetera, enough\u2026
\nThat\u2019s not at all fair. Personally I\u2019m now more converted to the friendly bit like this:
\n\u201cGreeks? Doncha just love \u2018em! Honest hard working people who just want a living wage. What\u2019s wrong with that, Mrs Merkel? Why should they carry the can for ancient debts? So much culture over the years with (in no particular order) Nana Mouskouri, Archimedes running nude through the streets crying \u2018Eureka\u2019, Motley Crue\u2019s rock drummer Tommy Lee, sexy \u2018Celebrity Big Brother Star\u2019 Georgia Salpa and the first ever Olympics Games. And what about famous former Fulham footballer Giorgos Karagounis? OK, so his Greek national team lost to the Faroe Islands (not once but twice\u2014the biggest upset ever in Footballing History), but hey, what\u2019s a goal or two between friends? It\u2019s not as if the England football team is much of an improvement! And I nearly left out Telly \u2018Kojak\u2019 Savalas and his lollipops. \u2018Who loves ya, Baby!\u2019 – I do, we all do!\u201d
\nAnd then there\u2019s HRH Prince Philip of course\u2014surely the UK\u2019s most prominent Greek. A wonderful asset to any country and someone who\u2019s never afraid to speak his mind\u2014sometimes maybe a little too plainly, but it\u2019s good to hear a Brit (OK, a Greek-Brit) expressing himself honestly without any politically correct eco-babble and \u2018new speak\u2019!\u201d
\nSo why does all of this matter? Well, summer holidays are here and many southern English families will be visiting nice places like Corfu, Kos or Mykonos. Lots of Kalamarakia and chips and litres of ouzo. And if your touristy gift shop trinkets (shot glasses engraved with naughty rude pictures and little porcelain fishing boats) cost a bit more, you should be gracious and generous. Smile and give a good tip after a delicious lamb kleftiko. Relax with your Greek coffee while your euros help their economy.
\nWe\u2019re also going to have Greek tourists on holiday over here, so if you\u2019ve got a B&B near Lyme or a pub in Devon or a Somerset gift shop, be kind. Give them a hug or buy them a drink because they\u2019re very nice people really. You may feel it sensible to point out near the beginning of your discussion that your establishment only takes cash, but they\u2019ll be very used to that coming from Greece. Remember, it\u2019s not their fault: it\u2019s their stupid old bank that\u2019s run out of cash\u2014not them personally. And don\u2019t forget useful welcoming phrases: \u201cTo h\u00f3verkr\u00e1ft mu \u00edne gem\u00e1to h\u00e9lia\u201d is Greek for \u201cMy hovercraft is full of eels\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"